Worst case scenario is that I’ll find an escort just to satisfy this desire

Thank you for being real. I know this isn’t really encouraging (because it never feels like it for me and if I’m honest I sometimes feel like it doesn’t help), but I’m praying for your pain and hopelessness with the same breath that I pray for my own, because a small part of me does not want to believe that God has abandoned us in this.

I did not put my email down. My email is This is not my personal email so don’t feel weird. I would love to share how we feel, i think it is a blessing to see how many people are struggling to find the way and are not blind to their sin. I would love to share about what helps us and what doesnt with anyone!

Hi, I am in my 30’s. Been a Christian since teenage years. Still holding on for my purity as of now. Anyone here who can give me their experience on having sex before marriage? Please help. I have a gf and curious if she is struggling as well. We are very silent on this matter. Need friends to discuss this matters.

Hi James, I accept your invitation! I was not able to respond to your email, it said your email address did not exist. But I guess we can talk here or try another email?

Hi guys some cravings are demonic especialy when you practise mastubartion .masturbation calls more demons of sexual desire easily and the only way to break this cycle as a christian is to be delivered by pastors who are well experienced in deliverance

None of this is really helpful advice. Here’s the reality: Every person (self-identified asexuals notwithstanding) is a sexual being with sexual drives. The bible was written in a cultural context where it was relatively easy to get married. In our cultural context it isn’t easy to get married. Marriage just isn’t open to everyone, whether because they haven’t found a spouse yet or because of a myriad of other reasons. The Church needs to find a way to resolve this problem. Either make it easier to get married and fix our broken dating market, or carve out a space in our theology where sexual activity can be permitted for the unmarried. It doesn’t need to be anything goes. In fact there should be strict guidelines around it. But the Church must stop insisting on marriage as the only moral way to engage in sexual activity.

I’m almost inclined to agree with Augustine and Aquinas, who argued that prostitution should be legal and regulated on the principle that if there is no sewer then the filth will spill out into the streets. It seems that this is exactly what has happened.

Churches have little to nothing for singles to just meet and chat. Everything turns into a service. Once you hit 30 if you are female you are generally unwanted. This is due to poor discipleship and pushing men to think a woman’s only purpose is to make babies.

While I do think porn is wrong because it sexualizes a person who is not one’s spouse and involves ex trafficking and exploitation, it is possible for a person to master masterbate without porn at all.

Well you are right in saying the church should fix our broken dating market

If it’s like giving yourself a backstretch I don’t see what the problem is. No one would say a backstretch is wrong. Somehow we’ve turned basic stimulation into something evil. I can see if a person has an addiction and is uncontrolled about it. But past that. I’m hard pressed to say it’s so horrible, particularly since most of us Christians are well over 30 and single eith zero prospects.