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Im sorry. But this didn’t help me at all. I feel like this all the time. So unhappy with myself, and everything about me. The only thing in life I don’t really hate is Musicfood. Not kidding. This stuff is so much easier said than done. I want an explanation on HOW I forgive myself. And I want to make it better. I don’t wanna stay busy and forgete on. I want to change and be happy with myself. How is that possible? I don’t think it is anymore. I try to be content. Its not a lack of effort that stops me. The only things I’m content with are others and other things around me. I doubt I will ever be with myself. Does anyone, really, ever feel quite happy with themselves? The way they are and act and look, their style, friends, blahh?? Work? School? I’m starting to doubt it. I don’t get how other people deal with it. I want to go back in time. When I was happy. A cute little girl with friends and family. So many fun things happened, that was the only time in my life that I just didn’t think about all this shit. But its impossible. To ever. Go back. I see that now. But it doesn’t make anything ever better. The best thing I can think is that I have friends and family who seem to enjoy being around me somewhat. I thinnkkk they are content with me. At least my friends. Nope. Scratch that. They all abandon me. They always will. My family constantly complains about all the shit I do. Yet I don’t get why anyones ever around me anyway. But its not like anyones all that good to me. My mom. My best friend Mikayla. Those two are the best. Probably the people I care most about. And then my dad. <33 Never had a boyfriend. Nothing. Nothing. I feel like crap. Maybe I'm tired and need to go to bed. But that wont change anything. I'll wake up tomorrow and feel basically the same. But I shove past and pretend.Pretend everythings okay. There are certain days when I do forget, when Im happy. But those are rare. I pray that my last day of school will be like that. Then maybe I can look at that day and be greatful. Maybe thats what I need to do. Try and be positive and greatful. Im so sorry this is long and I need to stop. My apologies to anyone who reads this. But I needed to get it out. e. If you have any advice or if you feel the same, please contact me. We can discuss. Reply. Pleaasee...Im lost..gahhh..why am I telling this to strangers. I have problems. WELL NO DUH. Im sorry..Im justt...gonna..ugh..justt... I don't know why I did this...I'm just gonna stop. Im sorry. So sorry.